Saturday, August 30, 2008

6 months with my girlies

I came across a journal entry (from my prayer journal) this week that I wrote almost exactly 4 months ago. There weren't a whole lot of entries back then, so I think this one pretty much sums up how I was doing:

"Dear Lord,

2 Cor. 12:9

Help me to believe this. Thank you for how incredibly weak I feel. Like I cannot make it a few minutes, let alone hours or days without you God. 'I need thee every hour'. I need you more than ever. How humbled I am that a toddler and a newborn bring me to my knees every hour- but Oh how I need it! You know exactly what I need! Give me abundant grace, O God! Amen".

Wow, I so clearly remember what a difficult transition it was for me to go from one to two children. And it was so humbling- I kept thinking, "this shouldn't be this hard", but I think the Lord was after my self-sufficiantcy and pride in it all.

Now that Abigail is 6 months old, I am amazed at how things sorta flow again. Not that each day doesn't bring challenges, but I'm not in tears every day wondering how I will make it through the day. Actually the past three months have been full of way, way more smiles than tears. I think some of the "growing pains" have passed. I am so grateful that the Lord has allowed my ever so small capacity to grow a little bigger- but only with His help. And I am especially grateful for that feeling of desperation- what a blessed place to be. It is so easy in the typical day to day life to think I can manage life just fine on my own. I hope through these past 6 months I have learned that I can't do things on my own- I need Gods strength in everything, every minute of every day. What a valuable lesson to learn.

Its amazing that the Lord uses these two little cutie's to reveal how desperately I need Him!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sister Love

I must say that I have been blessed with two girls who adore each other. They get along better than I ever imagined at this age. Abigail lights up for Alathea like no other and Alathea is the sweetest big sister in the least most of the time. Every once in a while some switch goes off in Alathea's head and she turns on Abigail, which usually is Alathea pushing her over or stepping on her head or something like that. So I am always on the lookout for sweet, doting big sister to turn in a second. 

Yesterday afternoon we were having some lovely play time the three of us and out of the corner of my eye I saw Alathea standing on our step stool peering at Abigail,  growling and waving her hands in the air (it was quite the site to behold), saying "Gonna get you Abi!". I said, "Alathea, please be kind to your sister",  to which she replied, "No, no, mommy, Yay-yay dinosaw, Abi baby horsey. Yay-yay eat Abi!" and she went back to the growling. This was one of those times I thought "do I laugh or address this issue", well, I couldn't stop laughing- where did she come up with that? I didn't think she even knew what a dinosaur was. So much for the sweet big sister! At least she is most of the time.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My Sunshine on a cloudy day

Being a kid is so fun. I think half of why I love being a Mom so much is because I get to do all the fun kid things again with the girls. Especially with Alathea. She's in such a fun stage. God knew what he was doing combining the "training twos" with a budding, funny personality. 

Today while Abigail was napping Alathea and I got to play outside in the rain for an hour! She's been asking every day this week to use her umbrella (from Miss Hanna) & rain boots (from Uncle Kenni) she got for her birthday way back in February.   We had the greatest time.  The funniest thing is that I had to teach her to splash in puddles. Isn't that normally something kids do instinctively? Anyways, we had a blast and I laughed so hard! I'm loving my girlies :) 

Here was Alathea's initial reaction to the puddles! Oh, my!! I can't believe I am having to teach my kid how to get messy! What a girly girl :)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Two Years

Today at 8:06pm marks the 2 year anniversary of Mom's life in paradise. While her children are mourning the loss of our Mom, our best friend, our Hero, our Mentor...she is face to face with her Savior. Mom loved the Lord with all of her heart, soul, mind & strength. Her faith was put to the test during her horrible sickness & death. You can't fake it when you are suffering- Mom's faith was rock solid- and was even more purified through her suffering. I miss her more every month that goes by- I wish I could ask her thoughts on training a toddler and loving two children at once. I wish I could hear her sing her homemade lullaby "Close your eyes & go to sleep"... her voice is the most precious thing. I wish I could hear her laugh again. I wish I could see her & dad holding hands like they always did- best friends and loving life together. I wish Julie had a Mom at her high school graduation and to help her walk through her courtship. I wish Rocky had a Mom to tell him she was proud of him and to care about the little things in his life.  I wish we could have our huge family Christmas and Thanksgiving and birthday parties. I wish Mom was there to counsel me on difficult days and point my gaze to the Lord like she always did. I wish I could see her joy in holding her much anticipated granddaughter once again. Six months as a Nana just seemed too short. 

But, That is why I thank the Lord that we do not grieve without hope. His ways are perfectly good, perfectly sovereign, perfectly wise. He knows what is best for His children. In my flesh I may think having my Mom with me now is best- I can argue that for hours- but that is not true. 
For Gods ways are higher than my ways and I can trust him completely. And- this life is a mere breath. I must fight every day to keep an eternal perspective. One day death & tears & pain & sadness will be no more. Praise the Lord O my soul! What happy news!! Thank you Lord that I can rejoice in you. Thank you that because of what you accomplished on the Cross we can have hope. What a thing to rejoice in.
Redemption was Mom's anthem. Her life was bursting with Joy no matter the circumstances because all that matter was Salvation. Nothing- no sickness, sorrow, death- could take that away. Her Joy was amazing. Mom's absolute favorite song was "I will glory in my Redeemer". It was her life song. She lived it out. I can only imagine her singing this 
before the Lords throne
 this very moment:

"I will glory in my Redeemer
Whose priceless blood has ransomed me
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung him on that judgement tree
I will Glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death
My only Savior before the Holy Judge
The Lamb who is my Righteousnes

I will glory in my Redeemer 
My life he bought, my love he owns
I have no longings for another
I'm satisfied in Him alone
I will glory in my Redeemer
His faithfulness my standing place
Though foes are mighty and rush upon me
My feet are firm, held by His grace
My feet are firm help by His grace 

I will Glory in my Redeemer
Who carries me on eagle's wings
He crowns my life with lovingkindness
His truimph song I'll ever sing
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who waits for me at gates of gold
And when He calls me it will be paradise
 His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold."

Miss you, Mom.

Friday, August 15, 2008

My Happy Girl...

She makes me melt!!

A few pictures of my very Happy Girl!!

Thought I would start this post off on a lighter note since my last was so heavy. Not much happier than a smiley little cutie pie!

With that said, THANK YOU to each and everyone of you who have been praying for me & my family this week! I cannot even begin to tell you how the Lord has met me...with peace in my soul, the revelation of sin in my heart, faith for the future and even in little practical ways. I know your prayers were a huge part of that. Thank you, thank you.

Also, an update on Alathea's eye. I went to my pediatrician and an eye doctor with Alathea on Wednesday morning. It seems that the verdict still was a huge stye that got infected. I was assured it is healing OK and that in no way her vision is being effected. That was reassuring. Thanks for praying for that too!

Here are a few pictures of life around here...

Working on baby food again...seems to like peas!

This is our every day morning routine...from 9-9:45am we have "play time"- its my favorite time of the day! Me & the girlies lay on Abi's blanket and play with her toys. Notice we are still in PJ's...getting dressed comes next :)
Alathea is rediscovering the excersaucer of her babyhood. She ate breakfast in it this morning.

Lots of Grammy love.
And special cousin time. My girls just LOVE seeing their cousins- Andrew & Caleb.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I miss this.

Just wanted to ask for you all to pray for me & my siblings. This past week has been unusually difficult for us in regards to missing Mom...lots of crying, dreams about Mom, missing her terribly, etc. The 21st marks the 2 year anniversary of her death. I think maybe with that on the horizon it has intensified the pain of her loss. I haven't felt this sad in a long, long time. At first I thought I was crazy- all this crying out of the blue- but Rocky & Julie said the exact same thing. We sure miss Mom. Really bad. Thankfully we don't grieve without hope. This life is just a breath and we'll be joining Mom in the Lords presence. But in the mean time, please keep us in your prayers. I want to honor the Lord in my grieving. 

Sunday, August 10, 2008

On the move...

Our little Abi girl has reached a big milestone...she's moving now! This past week she started scooting. The funniest thing is she's scooting backwards! She extends her arms out, which pushes her backwards. So when she wants to get to some toys, she actually moves away from them. This shows how mild mannered she is- she doesn't cry, she just keeps trying (and moving farther and father away :). I often find her underneath our couch, having scooted across the entire room. 

By the time she turned six months old, Alathea was on all fours crawling across the room. That was WAY too early for me :). I'm grateful Abigail isn't crawling yet, although she rocks on all fours quite a bit.  I have to admit I am a little sad that Abi's started scooting. It's a sign she is growing up way too fast. I kept telling her to stop and just lay there like a little baby, but Joe told me to stop and be happy about this big milestone :)

Thursday, August 07, 2008

6 Months

How did this happen? Can anyone explain to me how my baby is 6 months old today? I truly cannot grasp how quickly time goes by. It seems like she was just born- I can remember that clearly. But then the following 5 months seem like a blur. I know in the moment I cherished every second with her, but there is no way to make time stand still. Believe me I've tried- really hard! 

Below is a picture of me and Abigail the day after she was born! At that point she didn't even have a name yet! What precious memories!

Abigail the day she was born. Precious little baby.

I have been abundantly blessed beyond what I could have asked or imagined by this little girl. While at times I do wish time could stand still, I am grateful for each new day I have with her. This recent season of Abigail sitting up on her own has been so sweet for the girls as sisters. They spend a good part of every day "playing" together. Thank the Lord that Alathea loves babies! She'll sit on the blanket shaking Abi's rattles saying "See Abi!" with a ridiculous expression that I must make when I talk to Abi :). 

Abigail continues to be our little sunshine. Happy as can be. Although she was quite upset on Sunday night. I let her " taste" ice cream and she loved it! (I know that 6 months is too young for ice cream, but it was fun :) Then every time I would take a bite she'd scream until I let her lick it too! If she's this chunky on breast milk alone, I wonder what food will do to her! 

Here are a few pictures of her from yesterday. Happy "half-year" birthday, Abigail! (I have to admit that we did sing happy birthday to her while she was wearing a b-day hat today...and I took the girls out on a special date to celebrate today :) You can only imagine what we'll do when she turns a year!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


Just a quick post to ask you to pray for our cutie pie's eye. Her right eyelid is very swollen. I took her to the doctors last week and was told it was simply a stye (not sure if I spelled that right?).  Supposedly that is no big deal and we were given antibiotic eye drops and told to do a warm compress. Well, that was almost a week ago and it just seems to get bigger and bigger. I still think its a stye, I'm just not sure what to do about it. I may need to take her to an eye doctor. I don't think I would be as concerned, except that it's on her eyelid! So if you have a moment say a prayer for us- that God would give us wisdom and that ultimately He would heal her eye. Thanks!

Friday, August 01, 2008