I came across a journal entry (from my prayer journal) this week that I wrote almost exactly 4 months ago. There weren't a whole lot of entries back then, so I think this one pretty much sums up how I was doing:
"Dear Lord,
'MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU,
FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS'
2 Cor. 12:9
Help me to believe this. Thank you for how incredibly weak I feel. Like I cannot make it a few minutes, let alone hours or days without you God. 'I need thee every hour'. I need you more than ever. How humbled I am that a toddler and a newborn bring me to my knees every hour- but Oh how I need it! You know exactly what I need! Give me abundant grace, O God! Amen".
Wow, I so clearly remember what a difficult transition it was for me to go from one to two children. And it was so humbling- I kept thinking, "this shouldn't be this hard", but I think the Lord was after my self-sufficiantcy and pride in it all.
Now that Abigail is 6 months old, I am amazed at how things sorta flow again. Not that each day doesn't bring challenges, but I'm not in tears every day wondering how I will make it through the day. Actually the past three months have been full of way, way more smiles than tears. I think some of the "growing pains" have passed. I am so grateful that the Lord has allowed my ever so small capacity to grow a little bigger- but only with His help. And I am especially grateful for that feeling of desperation- what a blessed place to be. It is so easy in the typical day to day life to think I can manage life just fine on my own. I hope through these past 6 months I have learned that I can't do things on my own- I need Gods strength in everything, every minute of every day. What a valuable lesson to learn.
Its amazing that the Lord uses these two little cutie's to reveal how desperately I need Him!
6 comments:
I got BOTH girls a present in Charleston! Abbi's gift is my favorite.
Can't wait to see them!
PS- Krisite got yay-yay something too!
This is a really precious reminder to find that journal entry... Both of what the Lord has done, but also of how He always wants us to depend on Him that way, and grow our faith by looking back to see how He came thorough every time for us.
Love you... your girlies are amazingly cute... Can't wait for our very own.
you have been such a dear friend to me jeanie. thank you for your humility in sharing your early struggles with me. I am reminded I am not alone in this season. God is me ever present help and source of grace, and not only that, He gives me friends like you to draw out and care for my heart!!!! Isn't HE GREAT!!!!!
Thanks for sharing Jeanie! I know that I will need to be reminded of my weakness and Gods kindness for putting me in this season in the next few weeks. Thanks for your humilty, it has served so many of us. Love you
I'm experiencing camera envy... such beautiful photos and girls!
miss you, really, really.
tell the girls i said "thank you" again.
That was the best present ever
I love you
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