Two Years

Today at 8:06pm marks the 2 year anniversary of Mom's life in paradise. While her children are mourning the loss of our Mom, our best friend, our Hero, our Mentor...she is face to face with her Savior. Mom loved the Lord with all of her heart, soul, mind & strength. Her faith was put to the test during her horrible sickness & death. You can't fake it when you are suffering- Mom's faith was rock solid- and was even more purified through her suffering. I miss her more every month that goes by- I wish I could ask her thoughts on training a toddler and loving two children at once. I wish I could hear her sing her homemade lullaby "Close your eyes & go to sleep"... her voice is the most precious thing. I wish I could hear her laugh again. I wish I could see her & dad holding hands like they always did- best friends and loving life together. I wish Julie had a Mom at her high school graduation and to help her walk through her courtship. I wish Rocky had a Mom to tell him she was proud of him and to care about the little things in his life.  I wish we could have our huge family Christmas and Thanksgiving and birthday parties. I wish Mom was there to counsel me on difficult days and point my gaze to the Lord like she always did. I wish I could see her joy in holding her much anticipated granddaughter once again. Six months as a Nana just seemed too short. 

But, That is why I thank the Lord that we do not grieve without hope. His ways are perfectly good, perfectly sovereign, perfectly wise. He knows what is best for His children. In my flesh I may think having my Mom with me now is best- I can argue that for hours- but that is not true. 

For Gods ways are higher than my ways and I can trust him completely. And- this life is a mere breath. I must fight every day to keep an eternal perspective. One day death & tears & pain & sadness will be no more. Praise the Lord O my soul! What happy news!! Thank you Lord that I can rejoice in you. Thank you that because of what you accomplished on the Cross we can have hope. What a thing to rejoice in.

Redemption was Mom's anthem. Her life was bursting with Joy no matter the circumstances because all that matter was Salvation. Nothing- no sickness, sorrow, death- could take that away. Her Joy was amazing. Mom's absolute favorite song was "I will glory in my Redeemer". It was her life song. She lived it out. I can only imagine her singing this 

before the Lords throne

 this very moment:

"I will glory in my Redeemer

Whose priceless blood has ransomed me

Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails

And hung him on that judgement tree

I will Glory in my Redeemer

Who crushed the power of sin and death

My only Savior before the Holy Judge

The Lamb who is my Righteousnes

I will glory in my Redeemer 

My life he bought, my love he owns

I have no longings for another

I'm satisfied in Him alone

I will glory in my Redeemer

His faithfulness my standing place

Though foes are mighty and rush upon me

My feet are firm, held by His grace

My feet are firm help by His grace 

I will Glory in my Redeemer

Who carries me on eagle's wings

He crowns my life with lovingkindness

His truimph song I'll ever sing

I will glory in my Redeemer

Who waits for me at gates of gold

And when He calls me it will be paradise

 His face forever to behold

His face forever to behold

His face forever to behold

His face forever to behold."

Miss you, Mom.